Bereavement

You never really know how it feels until it happens to you. People react and cope with the loss of someone close in different ways. You might cry, feel empty inside, feel angry that this has happened, feel guilty that it happened to them and you're still here.

If you don't feel like crying, that doesn't mean you didn't care for the person or won't miss them. If your laughing and having a good time, you might feel guilty, but it's OK - that's what happens.

The pain of losing someone doesn't just disappear in a few weeks - though sometimes it might seem that other people think it does. One day you might feel up and the next you're down. Much later something might trigger the memories and you feel an overwhelming sense of loss all over again.

It can also be difficult coping with other people's responses to your loss - they may not say the right thing, or may say nothing at all so as not to upset you and to you it may seem like they don't care.

Give yourself the time to grieve for the person you have lost. It takes however long it takes. Some will say the pain never goes away completely but that in time it's not on the surface, not in the forefront of your thoughts - it gets buried under all the other things going on in your life.

You may choose to get through it on your own or with the help of those close to you. Some people find it helpful to speak to someone they don't know, like a bereavement counsellor.

Connexions can help put you in touch with someone if you want this.