Relationships

Relationships generally

Relationships can be fun, positive and supportive. At times they can be challenging, annoying, painful and maybe destructive.

Relationships change as we change. And sometimes that’s when things get difficult as we try to get used to these changes in our own lives and in others. This can affect our relationships with family and carers, friends, boy/girlfriends as well as people at school or work.

Things going well..

If things are going well, it’s great. You still need to work on your relationships to keep them positive.  Here are a few things that can help make sure they stay that way!

• Be trustworthy
• Be open and honest – this is not always easy because we may risk losing people because we don’t know how they will react to what we might say.
• Give feedback in a helpful way, not when you’re angry
• Make time for the other person
• Consider how the other person might be feeling
• Sense of humour and keeping some fun in the relationship help too!

Personal relationships

Brook do a great publication called ‘Relationships and You’. It covers stuff like what to do if you like someone, feeling good about yourself, making your relationship work, being dumped… We have some copies that you can pick up at one of our Connexions Centres or go to their website www.brook.org.uk

Sexuality

You may be straight, gay or bisexual.  In an ideal world everyone would be ok with this. It may not be easy being open about your sexuality. You don't know how others will respond. You have to go with what feels right for you. There are people who you can talk to as well as groups that you can join for support and social activities. Take a look at these websites for more info www.bygg.co.uk and www.spaceyouthproject.co.uk.

Family relationships

For many people, family life is generally good with everyday ups and downs. Some young people will never have had a family life or have a really difficult time because of serious stuff going on. For others particular things can happen that can start to make life difficult. Divorce, separation, bereavement, step families, babies can all make a difference to family life. Parents don’t get a manual on how to do things and most never get any training on how to be a good parent.  Sometimes we may not see them as individual people who have wishes and dreams of their own, and make mistakes too just like everyone else.

Young carers

If you are caring for someone, there are local groups you can join for support and fun activities. Search under ‘Carers’ in the Info Zone. Or click on the link www.yci.org.uk

Things not so good…

If things are not going well, it usually helps to talk. This could be with other friends or family members. If you want to talk to an independent person in confidence, you can contact Connexions. Advisers can listen and support you and maybe tell you about other organisations or people who might be able to give you extra help.

Things so bad that you feel like leaving home? Have a look at the housing page.

Things so bad at school with the bullying, you want to leave? Have a look at the page on bullying for organisations that can help.

Relationships - when is it legal?

To have sex?

16. You can consent (agree) to sex at this age whether you’re bisexual, gay or straight. However, you could be prosecuted if the person you are with is under 16.

To get married?

16. At this age you normally need parent permission. At 18 you don’t need permission.

To leave home?

16. Again you normally need parent permission.

What about step parents?

Step parents don’t automatically get rights, not even if you all live together. Your birth or adoptive parent will still make the big decisions. A step parent can apply for legal parental responsibility. Even though they don’t have parental responsibility, a step parent is responsible for keeping you safe if you are in their care.